COVID-19 vs Weddings.

My last blog acknowledging ‘these current times’ was in April, & it was about keeping positive. Now we are in July & I am moving couples for a second time due to regulations regarding Coronavirus; so as you can imagine it’s difficult to still keep that positive outlook. Love My Dress posted a brave, compelling, truthful blog yesterday, which you can read by clicking here. This was a wake up call for me & has given me the courage to speak & not feel guilty about being brutal or honest.

I have hardly posted for the past four months as I haven’t known what to say, & either felt guilty for posting happy couples on their wedding day or guilty for not mentioning something to do with ‘Covid-19’. Instead I have taken a step back, dealt with my weddings & couples when needed, trying my best to keep everyone happy, & most importantly taken the time out to enjoy my home, friends & family (where possible). Almost treating it as a fake early retirement I suppose!

This time of year, Rob & I normally have no free time, so although we have been living under restrictions, we have been making the most of it. This has been good for me mentally as I haven’t realised or even thought about being stressed or worrying about what the future holds. However my body said otherwise when I was diagnosed with Pityriasis Rosea from stress just under five weeks ago, & I still have remnants of it now. It’s frightening how your body reacts differently to what you think is going on in your mind. Subconsciously I have obviously been burying the worry of the wedding industry & the impact this is having on us all & my business.

I had 35 weddings booked in for this year, I now have 10 left, 2 of which are small ceremonies / socially distanced, & 3 of which have pencilled dates for next year, some of whom have already moved once! I fear more pencilled dates will be coming, & I am running out of space as next year I only have winter months left, which aren’t the first preference for many. So you get the idea. The year is a right off. There also seems to be a misconception that once the Government Grant ‘landed in our banks’, all of us self employed wedding business’ were popping the Champagne sitting on money, holding back deposits & therefore doubling our income. I can’t tell you how angry this makes me as it shows there’s a lot of people who really do not have a clue the impact this has had / is having on us as an industry. Our work is mainly seasonal & we have lost it all! Yes, we have managed to move most (speaking for myself, I have only had 5 unable to accommodate), but in doing so, have taken up the space of new potential weddings, & I personally haven’t charged more or asked for any money upfront, because to put it bluntly - I am not an arsehole & I do care about my clients. We all need to work together in this, not against.

Rob is a wedding videographer, as you know, so we are in the same boat & can’t help each other out whilst dealing with this because we have both felt the same impact. Many of my industry friends have had abuse & threats thrown at them for keeping the booking fee’s, which in turn has made many people I know ill, but I have also heard horror stories coming from the other side too. I know everyone has heightened emotions at the moment & this situation is terrible for couples, & just as terrible for us, but in a different kind of way. Our business’ are our babies, we have worked so hard to get where we are now, & to be frank we can’t survive as we are without them. Couples weddings are the most important sentimental days of their lives, surrounded by everyone they love, they have been planned carefully considering who can be there & the start of their future thereafter; so it’s not as easy as just ‘changing dates again’. Love My Dress put it perfectly with this quote - “We’ve allowed wedding businesses to be seen as fluffy, lightweight hobbies and we’ve maybe all pandered to the ‘dream day’ concept a bit too much.”

The new regulations are now meaning we are all living in limbo again, & couples who have already moved once are back with the same stressful situation they had at the start of this when they didn’t know what to do. This causes a downward spiral from them, their families, friends, to all us suppliers as non of us have the answers. It really isn’t fair. We are being undervalued & overlooked. I wholeheartedly agree there needs to be more decisive outlines for how things are going to unfold over the next few months. I mean, I’m sure I am not alone in DREADING the thought of a second winter outbreak as this will then mean we will be in exactly the same place again for the first half of next year & I really don’t think business’ will come back from it a second time. So yes, I understand the need for safety & I personally wouldn’t want to be at a large wedding at the moment with everyone hugging & kissing, BUT that’s what weddings are about, so some sort of plan needs to be put into action so we all aren’t living in limbo / fear, & can plan accordingly. I can’t imagine having my wedding & not being able to hug the ones I love, stand next to them for photos, not being walked down the aisle but some are having to sacrifice all these things.

I could keep writing & never stop. I have so much to say, so many feelings & so many mixed emotions. I feel so much for everyone involved & really look forward to when we can be back to normal. Next year is incredibly busy for me so I am hoping it will be a fresh start where we can all join & celebrate together again. In the meantime, we need to take action, have a read of Love my Dress’ blog if you haven’t already as there’s lots of detailed information about what we can all do next.

Lots of love to all my industry friends & beyond, & to my amazing couples who are having to deal with this nightmare. x